"Poor people ain't got nothin' but biscuits."
-Brian
Monday, April 28, 2014
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
quick one
no update of old quotes, but a good one from trying to remember an old commercial jingle that john got horribly wrong:
baby ruth, butterfinger, great taste, the smell does linger.
that ain't right
baby ruth, butterfinger, great taste, the smell does linger.
that ain't right
Monday, August 11, 2008
older ones
that's the only rev folder? i'm screwed.
mark 1-11-06
if the internet were a pokemon, what sound would it make?
10-15-05
someone submitted fluids to the render queue yesterday
mark
i submitted fluids to your mom!
phill 10-11-05
here completed render queue, have the keys to my car!
phil
what does that even mean?
bradley 1-11-06
release endorphins
i havent seen it since i saw it
phil 10-15-05
i know what i'm getting you for christmas. a 12 pack of whipped cream and some crotchless panties
jason 11-9-05
i pan handled your mom
brian 11-2-05
that's no penis, that's a corndog!
john 11-4-05
that's one think this movie is missing. a rapping frog.
bradley 10-28-05
your mom's a burning priority, but that's just because she has herpes
john 11-7-05
either way, somebody's having sex with chocolate
phil 11-1-05
there are packing peanuts everywhere
mark
did you just say packing penis?
jason 11-2-05
burn victims don't make a very good breakfast cereal
mark 12-19-05
hey look, eldar is submitting files from beyond the grave!
mark
eldar isn't dead
phil
not with an attitude like that, he's not.
mark 10-29-05
peeing yourself would be an interesting defense mechanism against madonna songs.
mark 1-6-06
well, if you pull off a grasshopper's legs, they still produce movies
mark 11-9-05
floating point exception!
your mom's floating point accepted
that's not funny. nerd
phil
mark 1-11-06
if the internet were a pokemon, what sound would it make?
10-15-05
someone submitted fluids to the render queue yesterday
mark
i submitted fluids to your mom!
phill 10-11-05
here completed render queue, have the keys to my car!
phil
what does that even mean?
bradley 1-11-06
release endorphins
i havent seen it since i saw it
phil 10-15-05
i know what i'm getting you for christmas. a 12 pack of whipped cream and some crotchless panties
jason 11-9-05
i pan handled your mom
brian 11-2-05
that's no penis, that's a corndog!
john 11-4-05
that's one think this movie is missing. a rapping frog.
bradley 10-28-05
your mom's a burning priority, but that's just because she has herpes
john 11-7-05
either way, somebody's having sex with chocolate
phil 11-1-05
there are packing peanuts everywhere
mark
did you just say packing penis?
jason 11-2-05
burn victims don't make a very good breakfast cereal
mark 12-19-05
hey look, eldar is submitting files from beyond the grave!
mark
eldar isn't dead
phil
not with an attitude like that, he's not.
mark 10-29-05
peeing yourself would be an interesting defense mechanism against madonna songs.
mark 1-6-06
well, if you pull off a grasshopper's legs, they still produce movies
mark 11-9-05
floating point exception!
your mom's floating point accepted
that's not funny. nerd
phil
more quotes?
"i've got some nuts in the air, so we have major problems'
warren, still frustrated
"i thought that folder said 'potential stuff'"
warren
"cold fusion, wormholes, cyborgs"
john
"i'll never say anything definitive again"
matt
"wait, you just did"
john
"yesterday was a day behind"
warren
"it wouldn't be a good thing if traffic smelled like bacon"
warren
"everyone would start hating bacon"
phil
"technically it's still yesterday in omaha"
john 6-20-08 5:30 PM
"we could somehow beef into the vents and lock the doors"
john 6-30-08
"at least i've gotten used to the terrorists not being my friends"
warren
"the next thing is entrails"
matt 7-22-08
"just hot enough to be dead, not cooked"
warren
"don't go anywhere, i'm showing you spittle"
warren
"that's probably not a good thing, everyone in this city is doing coke"
warren
"fire the meat seeking man missle"
warren
okay , in my defense, the quote sheet is in my office, and i didn't write those down. hell, i don't even remember saying them...
warren, still frustrated
"i thought that folder said 'potential stuff'"
warren
"cold fusion, wormholes, cyborgs"
john
"i'll never say anything definitive again"
matt
"wait, you just did"
john
"yesterday was a day behind"
warren
"it wouldn't be a good thing if traffic smelled like bacon"
warren
"everyone would start hating bacon"
phil
"technically it's still yesterday in omaha"
john 6-20-08 5:30 PM
"we could somehow beef into the vents and lock the doors"
john 6-30-08
"at least i've gotten used to the terrorists not being my friends"
warren
"the next thing is entrails"
matt 7-22-08
"just hot enough to be dead, not cooked"
warren
"don't go anywhere, i'm showing you spittle"
warren
"that's probably not a good thing, everyone in this city is doing coke"
warren
"fire the meat seeking man missle"
warren
okay , in my defense, the quote sheet is in my office, and i didn't write those down. hell, i don't even remember saying them...
some more recent ones
i guess it does't matter if these are out of order...so here is the most convenient pile. i will post one page per entry.
"i put your lamp in my suitcase"
- big lou 3-18-08
"it's gimpy at the top and too tough at the bottom"
-madler 3-18-08
"i'm sort of a fifth wheel here"
warren
"you're basically 3 wheels"
john
"i'm wheels 5-8...wait"
warren 3-27-08
"i'm going to do this from the other side so i don't get my butt in your hair"
john 4-2-08
"file this document under 'delicious'"
matt 2-08
"it's cached, but the friggin nuts are just hangin' there"
warren 4-24-08
"there's noise about sushi"
warren 4-26-08
"i've been so busy i haven't even read my hand"
candice 5-2-08
"they're not there...."
phil 5-7-08
"while you were on the phone i stroked it"
warren 5-7-08
"you never took your pickles"
angel 5-9-08
"minty bunghole of doom"
aaron 5-9-08
"go into the character's 'don't touch' area"
phil 5-13-08
"we need a delgo soundboard"
warren
"i think we're all delgo soundboards here"
pat 5-16-08
"can you come here a minute warren? i just really want to poke something"
aaron 5-16-08
"did you check out his blowhole? i'd fuckin hit that"
no name or date (i wonder why)
"did you put any butter in my pockets?"
candice 6-2-08
"i put your lamp in my suitcase"
- big lou 3-18-08
"it's gimpy at the top and too tough at the bottom"
-madler 3-18-08
"i'm sort of a fifth wheel here"
warren
"you're basically 3 wheels"
john
"i'm wheels 5-8...wait"
warren 3-27-08
"i'm going to do this from the other side so i don't get my butt in your hair"
john 4-2-08
"file this document under 'delicious'"
matt 2-08
"it's cached, but the friggin nuts are just hangin' there"
warren 4-24-08
"there's noise about sushi"
warren 4-26-08
"i've been so busy i haven't even read my hand"
candice 5-2-08
"they're not there...."
phil 5-7-08
"while you were on the phone i stroked it"
warren 5-7-08
"you never took your pickles"
angel 5-9-08
"minty bunghole of doom"
aaron 5-9-08
"go into the character's 'don't touch' area"
phil 5-13-08
"we need a delgo soundboard"
warren
"i think we're all delgo soundboards here"
pat 5-16-08
"can you come here a minute warren? i just really want to poke something"
aaron 5-16-08
"did you check out his blowhole? i'd fuckin hit that"
no name or date (i wonder why)
"did you put any butter in my pockets?"
candice 6-2-08
first batch
these were transcribed by rooke, so you get a big post to start...
"I think pizza would brighten any funeral."
-Warren, 11/22/06
"I'm going to watch all of the Delgo so there's none left for you guys!"
-Mark, 11/13/06
"Did you guys have green smoke?"
-Mark
"That depends on who you ask."
-Galindez, 11/27/06
"You can eat...your friend's...behind?"
-Mark, 11/18/06
"You have to wonder which came first: the name or the bowtie."
-Warren, on Tucker Carlson 11/27/06
"We forgot to tap Asia!"
-Mark
"I'd tap that. All of the people in Asia."
-Phil, 11/27/06
"I'm not sure if you'll like it, but I think you will because...um...you like song and dance numbers."
-Phil, 11/18/06
"There should be a baby, making noise. No, not a baby making noise."
-Mark, 11/14/06
"All it wanted was a friend, and all it got was replaced."
-Mark, 12/1/06
"I despise these pants!"
-Mark, 11/20/06
"We're grinding against the shaft."
-Matt, 12/11/06
"She can fit into a guitar case? Now that's my kind of woman."
-John, 12/11/06
"Your dad was in a car wreck. He's fine - oh wait, I mean paralyzed. Sorry, they're practically the same word. You know, right next to each other on the keyboard."
-Warren, Matt, and Mark (collectively) 12/04/06
"Nice blur job."
-Mark, 12/04/06
"That's what Delgo is missing: robot monkeys."
-Bradley, 12/04/06
"The must have very slow metabolisms and very boring lives."
-Brian, 12/08/06
"The violin isn't as good, because it's not every day that someone plays the little girl so well."
-Mark, 12/08/06
"Ow! I clicked the wrong end of the pen!"
-Mark, 12/02/06
"Solve for N, where N equals nipples."
-Brian, 12/02/06
"I'm not sure if you want to penetrate the skin though."
-John, 12/2/06
"You'd better be sure to finish the guy off after you've done that."
-Warren, 12/01/06
"Grab, twist, rupture."
-John, 12/01/06
"If I knew it was going to be one of those beverage runs, I would've brought a condom."
-Warren, 12/11/06
"It's not art unless they're naked."
-Fetter, 09/06/06
"It means 'Put it in a different folder.' How's that for learning?"
-Phil, 9/16/06
"You know, if you added sugar to light mayonnaise, it would taste like pudding."
-Mark, 09/18/06
"Everyone could use a little alien weiner."
-Matt, 09/18/06
"I like the word 'hippotit.' It's like 'hypocrite,' only not."
-Bradley, 09/23/06
"Well if you're going to drop hippo tits on your demo reel, you deserve what you get."
-Warren, 09/23/06
"Nothing's worse than a cocky fanboy."
-Mark 09/07/06
"I take pleasure in the pain of 19 year-olds."
-Phil, 09/12/06
"Is Christopher Reeve a character?"
-Phil
"He sure is. He sure is..."
-Bradley, 9/15/06
"You're forgiven. They are pretty androgenous."
-Mark, 09/15/07
"I hear Japanese - what's going on over there!"
-Mark, 10/06/06
"That's an amazing profession, they just get hot girls to sell drugs."
-Warren 10/06/06
"Aim a little lower. Your standards are too high."
-Bradley, 10/06/06
"I'm making counter angels."
-John, 10/07/06
"A proper lady never gives them a princess they don't have."
-Phil, 10/09/06
"It hit the back of my throat."
-Warren, 10/11/06
"John isn't un-beving unless he's peeing in the lobby."
-Warren
"My lungs taste like baking goods."
-Mark, 9/28/06
"Oh hey Rooke, I need something from you. YOUR SOUL!!!"
-John, 09/28/06
"I am too programmed!"
-Mark, 09/28/06
"They call me...awkward mittens!"
-John 10/02/06
"Your aim is much better than Matt's. You got me in the face on the first shot."
-Mark, 10/04/06
"We were all pretty frisky."
-Phil 10/04/06
"You might as well call it 'Jhamorgia.'"
-Phil, 10/06/06
"I only pull out my drag on special occasions, and this isn't one of them."
-Mark, 06/17/06
"It's like a milkshake with hair in it."
-Phil, 07/05/06
"The scratching of the cornea...is that like a festival in Spain or something?"
-Mark, 07/10/06
"No, Mark. I don't have any meat for you."
-John, 06/17/06
"It's Japanese tradition. You never stab the nipple of your superior."
-Mark, 06/30/06
"Oh no! I wasn't counting at all! I was just moving my fingers."
-Mark, 07/01/06
"'Pretty sure' doesn't keep babies from being born."
-Phil, 07/07/06
"I can just see Mark in the shower...one, two, three, four..."
-John Bradley, 07/25/06
"I'll know when my toenails fall off."
-Mark, 07/26/06
"Soft! What light through yonder window breaks! It is the east, and scene 1_22_018 is the sun!"
-Mark, 07/28/06
"...and uses the time line."
-Phil
"You sure it wasn't the time warp?"
-Bradley
"No, that's the Rocky Horror show, not Lost in Space."
-Mark, 08/03/06
"For some reason I thought he said something about an abortion in space."
-Phil, 10/11/06
"...only to vomit them up in my mouth and chew them later. A little crass, I know, but totally worth it."
-Mark, 07/24/06
"It's a spectrum of pain not unlike a barber shop quartet."
-Phil, 07/12/06
"...you like dominant mandolin?"
-Phil, 07/12/06
"Trying to pop their finch balloon?"
-Phil, 07/17/06
"I used to be like that until my balls dropped."
-Matt, 7/17/06
"Hippies can't pray!"
-Bradley, 07/25/06
"I'm so excited that you have a little man-maker!"
-Mark, 09/06/07
"God is transmitted through tiny particles called Godicles."
-Brian
"Sounds like someone's been sniffing the Godicles."
-Matt, 12/14/05
"Can I show you something? Nah, it's not my penis this time."
-Matt, 12/16/05
"This is why you keep me around."
-Mark
"Why, because [your stool] is regular?"
-John, 12/16/05
"It came free in a box! You leave it alone!"
-Mark, 01/06/06
"I don't have glasses on my crotch."
-Phil, 01/09/06
RWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRR!
"...is someone making margaritas?"
-Bradley, 01/02/06
"Mmmm...baking your references..."
-Mark, 01/06/06
"No arms, no opium!"
-Bradley, 11/28/05
"Budapest. BAM! It's a joke."
-Phil, 11/28/05
"I'm too dumb to catch on fire."
-Phil, 12/03/05
"It's sicko season. KABLAM! DIE SICKO!"
-Phil, 12/03/05
"Hey...uh...do you want a big stinky pickle?"
-Brian, 01/03/06
"I've got the power of google on my side; I can be as lame as I want to!"
-Mark, 11/19/05
"Nothing says 'Sky Captain' like a one-eyed lesbian."
-Mark, 11/19/05
"General Tso's Happy Family with Human Sauce? That's just sick."
-Jeff, 11/19/05
"So last night while I was walking the dog...no, Jason, that's not a euphamism for masturbation this time."
-Matt, 11/19/05
"I live vicariously through my cute single friends."
-Jason
"Uh, Jason, did you just call me 'cute' ?"
-Matt, 11/19/05
"That's all I can think of: Cathy Bates' vagina."
-Bradley 02/09/07
"The button's over here, and you're a SINNER."
-Phil, 02/09/07
"He's actually peeing?!?"
-Galindez
"Yeah, it's not a playblast anymore."
-Mark, 01/26/07
"That's what I do to theories: poop on them."
-John, 01/03/07
"I wish all my crotch problems were that easily solved."
-Sullivan, 01/26/07
"Welcome to my religion: smack you in the jaw...um..ism."
-John, 01/26/07
"Sounds like a fat guy breathing into a telephone."
-Warren, 01/12/07
"Give it the old sniff and lick."
-Warren, 01/12/07
"I'm over here listening to Malcolm McDowell fake an orgasm, sorry if I forgot to run rsync."
-Mark, 01/19/07
"The parade ends here!"
-Phil, 01/19/07
"I've spent far too long compiling my babies."
-Phil, 01/19/07
"I want to hear more swallowing and chewing and biting."
-Marc, 01/12/07
"It seems so dead...as dead as my skin."
-Marc, 01/12/07
"Alright, it's in the potato burn folder."
-Jay, 01/12/07
"All that from a potato burn?"
-Mark, 01/12/07
"Ain't no 'bility like mobility."
-Mark, 01/11/07
"It's like voluntary communism."
-Phil, 01/11/07
"Satan is due for some muffins."
-Bradley, 01/06/07
"Shove it through the hole in her spine and she's good to go."
-Warren, 12/16/06
"He's mellowed out since his heart attack."
-Brian, 12/20/06
"Step up to the cream puff."
-Bradley, 12/20/06
"I may have hit you with a plastic sword, but you just gave me a serious paper cut."
-Mark, 12/20/06
"What a Shyamalan twist! You're dead AND retarted."
-Phil, 01/06/07
"I see retarted people!"
-Bradley, 01/06/07
"I was just trying to grab the balls."
-Candice, 7/25/07
"Mental ray - the pro-abortion renderder."
-Matt/Phil, 08/30/07
"And then I wondered,'How much is body paint?'"
-Warren, 07/06/07
"Multiple drives were trying to mount the server at the same time and well...she's just not that kind of server."
-John, 07/09/07
"You can walk up and lick him and just tell he hasn't been working here long."
-Brian, on seasoned employees, 07/09/07
"Smell this region."
-Matt, 07/12/07
"There was a walking penis in Superfriends?"
-Warren, 08/30/06
"Robots don't have feelings...yet!"
-Phil, 08/30/06
"There's hope for facial hair yet."
-Sullivan, 08/31/06
"I think you've been touching it a little too much."
-John, 09/01/06
"That is really disturbing. Don't put your hand near your face like that ever again."
-Phil, 09/01/06
"This is good 'don't do work and build Jenga instead' music."
-Phil
"I don't like droves. KTHXBYE."
-Angel, 08/28/06
"I'd like a milkshake, and by milkshake I mean unconcious child."
-Mark, ask DOLPHIN, 08/30/06
"Jiggle deformers out the wazoo!"
-Kelsey, 08/30/06
"I think the world needs another Roy or two."
-Mark, 08/30/07
"Like a feminine anemone that's regularly irregular."
-Phil, 08/21/06
"I'd rather be a godless whore than a whoreless god."
-Matt, 08/22/06
"If I were God, I'd have some bitches."
-Brian, 08/22/06
"Don't give into the farm!"
-Phil, 08/23/06
"Shit will hit the fan and everyone will cheer...Yaaaaay!"
-Mark, 08/26/06
"They call me bottle nose because I drink so much."
-Brian, 08/12/06
"You think it's funny, but in England? It's dinner."
-Mark, 8/09/06
"Am I allowed to say 'douchebag' over a company-wide e-mail?"
-Mark, 08/07/06
"...because alot of times it gets warped. By breasts."
-Mark, 08/04/06
"If there's green shit and it looks like someone threw up, then it's going to rain."
-John, 08/04/06
"I just graduated! I shouldn't have to learn anymore!"
-Candice, 07/02/07
"My size issues are of a different nature. Wait, Rooke, don't write that down. You're fired."
-Warren, 6/12/07
"Hold still - you have a weird hair coming out of your back."
-Mark, 06/13/07
"More like on the far side of close."
-Warren, 06/11/07
"Can my receeding hairline be I.D. enough?"
-Mark, 06/07/07
"Your mom rolled over at the end of the fiscal year!"
-Bradley, on your mother's fiscal policy, 06/07/07
"The Japanese don't need oxygen. They have...gills?"
-Bradley, 05/22/07
"If you're going to do the robot, do it to my face!"
-Bradley, 05/29/07
"Self-induced vomiting runs in my family."
-Mark
"Dum dum dummmm!"
-Phil, 06/04/07
"Please don't talk about me popping my filaments."
-Mark, 06/06/07
"Lima beans are bullshit...starchy little fuckers."
-Warren, 06/06/07
"We have an ectoplasm?"
-Mark, 04/28/07
"I like zeroes. You can take them off and put them back on again when you're ready."
-Mark, 04/29/07
"I'm going to have texture dropping dreams again."
-Mark, 05/15/07
"God bless the Chickpea."
-Bradley, 05/17/07
"Gave her the old gigabit switch. OH-HO!"
-John, 06/06/07
"I don't associate 'a swirling vortex of power' with milk. Or chocolate for that matter."
-Mark, 03/23/07
"I didn't order this many white people."
-John, 03/28/07
"The cankles never lie."
-Matt, 03/30/07
"I'm going to make a spoof called the Godwood festival where God has a woody."
-Warren, 04/14/07
"People don't care too much about the cheese. They just suck down the meat."
-Warren, 03/17/07
"Amy really is showing off her pooper."
-John, 03/17/07
"When I pull up in the morning I can see the giraffe on top of the mountain."
-Warren, 03/21/07
"You should check your widgets once a month...you know...so you don't have lumps."
-Brian, 03/22/07
"I'm so lonely and delicious."
-Warren, 04/10/07
"I think you know a little too much about Freddie's mouth."
-Marc, 03/15/07
"Gradma, what big forms you have."
-Mark, 03/13/07
"Ever hiccough so hard that you...[pause]...barf in your mouth?"
-Mark, 03/06/07
"Ah, George. He died as he lived: reloading."
-Mark, 03/07/07
"I can't wait until Charleton Heston goes senile. That'll be a blast."
-Mark, 02/15/07
"When you move food around that fast the nutrients just can't keep up."
-Phil, 02/15/07
"She's a dirty little battle Sedessa!"
-Warren, 02/20/07
"I hate places that give 10% discounts. Come on guys, you can do better than that."
-John, 02/21/07
"That hard drive is fun-size!"
-Mark, 02/27/07
"It's like moving from cold water to warm water...and no, I don't mean I just peed."
-Phil, 01/06/06
"You probably didn't notice the doppler effect because you were too busy killing hookers with a crowbar, unless you kill them really fast as you run by."
-Mark, 01/06/06
"Wait, my ass lights up?"
-Jason, 12/14/05
"Hot man sex? That's not funny at all."
-John, 01/02/06
"I think pizza would brighten any funeral."
-Warren, 11/22/06
"I'm going to watch all of the Delgo so there's none left for you guys!"
-Mark, 11/13/06
"Did you guys have green smoke?"
-Mark
"That depends on who you ask."
-Galindez, 11/27/06
"You can eat...your friend's...behind?"
-Mark, 11/18/06
"You have to wonder which came first: the name or the bowtie."
-Warren, on Tucker Carlson 11/27/06
"We forgot to tap Asia!"
-Mark
"I'd tap that. All of the people in Asia."
-Phil, 11/27/06
"I'm not sure if you'll like it, but I think you will because...um...you like song and dance numbers."
-Phil, 11/18/06
"There should be a baby, making noise. No, not a baby making noise."
-Mark, 11/14/06
"All it wanted was a friend, and all it got was replaced."
-Mark, 12/1/06
"I despise these pants!"
-Mark, 11/20/06
"We're grinding against the shaft."
-Matt, 12/11/06
"She can fit into a guitar case? Now that's my kind of woman."
-John, 12/11/06
"Your dad was in a car wreck. He's fine - oh wait, I mean paralyzed. Sorry, they're practically the same word. You know, right next to each other on the keyboard."
-Warren, Matt, and Mark (collectively) 12/04/06
"Nice blur job."
-Mark, 12/04/06
"That's what Delgo is missing: robot monkeys."
-Bradley, 12/04/06
"The must have very slow metabolisms and very boring lives."
-Brian, 12/08/06
"The violin isn't as good, because it's not every day that someone plays the little girl so well."
-Mark, 12/08/06
"Ow! I clicked the wrong end of the pen!"
-Mark, 12/02/06
"Solve for N, where N equals nipples."
-Brian, 12/02/06
"I'm not sure if you want to penetrate the skin though."
-John, 12/2/06
"You'd better be sure to finish the guy off after you've done that."
-Warren, 12/01/06
"Grab, twist, rupture."
-John, 12/01/06
"If I knew it was going to be one of those beverage runs, I would've brought a condom."
-Warren, 12/11/06
"It's not art unless they're naked."
-Fetter, 09/06/06
"It means 'Put it in a different folder.' How's that for learning?"
-Phil, 9/16/06
"You know, if you added sugar to light mayonnaise, it would taste like pudding."
-Mark, 09/18/06
"Everyone could use a little alien weiner."
-Matt, 09/18/06
"I like the word 'hippotit.' It's like 'hypocrite,' only not."
-Bradley, 09/23/06
"Well if you're going to drop hippo tits on your demo reel, you deserve what you get."
-Warren, 09/23/06
"Nothing's worse than a cocky fanboy."
-Mark 09/07/06
"I take pleasure in the pain of 19 year-olds."
-Phil, 09/12/06
"Is Christopher Reeve a character?"
-Phil
"He sure is. He sure is..."
-Bradley, 9/15/06
"You're forgiven. They are pretty androgenous."
-Mark, 09/15/07
"I hear Japanese - what's going on over there!"
-Mark, 10/06/06
"That's an amazing profession, they just get hot girls to sell drugs."
-Warren 10/06/06
"Aim a little lower. Your standards are too high."
-Bradley, 10/06/06
"I'm making counter angels."
-John, 10/07/06
"A proper lady never gives them a princess they don't have."
-Phil, 10/09/06
"It hit the back of my throat."
-Warren, 10/11/06
"John isn't un-beving unless he's peeing in the lobby."
-Warren
"My lungs taste like baking goods."
-Mark, 9/28/06
"Oh hey Rooke, I need something from you. YOUR SOUL!!!"
-John, 09/28/06
"I am too programmed!"
-Mark, 09/28/06
"They call me...awkward mittens!"
-John 10/02/06
"Your aim is much better than Matt's. You got me in the face on the first shot."
-Mark, 10/04/06
"We were all pretty frisky."
-Phil 10/04/06
"You might as well call it 'Jhamorgia.'"
-Phil, 10/06/06
"I only pull out my drag on special occasions, and this isn't one of them."
-Mark, 06/17/06
"It's like a milkshake with hair in it."
-Phil, 07/05/06
"The scratching of the cornea...is that like a festival in Spain or something?"
-Mark, 07/10/06
"No, Mark. I don't have any meat for you."
-John, 06/17/06
"It's Japanese tradition. You never stab the nipple of your superior."
-Mark, 06/30/06
"Oh no! I wasn't counting at all! I was just moving my fingers."
-Mark, 07/01/06
"'Pretty sure' doesn't keep babies from being born."
-Phil, 07/07/06
"I can just see Mark in the shower...one, two, three, four..."
-John Bradley, 07/25/06
"I'll know when my toenails fall off."
-Mark, 07/26/06
"Soft! What light through yonder window breaks! It is the east, and scene 1_22_018 is the sun!"
-Mark, 07/28/06
"...and uses the time line."
-Phil
"You sure it wasn't the time warp?"
-Bradley
"No, that's the Rocky Horror show, not Lost in Space."
-Mark, 08/03/06
"For some reason I thought he said something about an abortion in space."
-Phil, 10/11/06
"...only to vomit them up in my mouth and chew them later. A little crass, I know, but totally worth it."
-Mark, 07/24/06
"It's a spectrum of pain not unlike a barber shop quartet."
-Phil, 07/12/06
"...you like dominant mandolin?"
-Phil, 07/12/06
"Trying to pop their finch balloon?"
-Phil, 07/17/06
"I used to be like that until my balls dropped."
-Matt, 7/17/06
"Hippies can't pray!"
-Bradley, 07/25/06
"I'm so excited that you have a little man-maker!"
-Mark, 09/06/07
"God is transmitted through tiny particles called Godicles."
-Brian
"Sounds like someone's been sniffing the Godicles."
-Matt, 12/14/05
"Can I show you something? Nah, it's not my penis this time."
-Matt, 12/16/05
"This is why you keep me around."
-Mark
"Why, because [your stool] is regular?"
-John, 12/16/05
"It came free in a box! You leave it alone!"
-Mark, 01/06/06
"I don't have glasses on my crotch."
-Phil, 01/09/06
RWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRR!
"...is someone making margaritas?"
-Bradley, 01/02/06
"Mmmm...baking your references..."
-Mark, 01/06/06
"No arms, no opium!"
-Bradley, 11/28/05
"Budapest. BAM! It's a joke."
-Phil, 11/28/05
"I'm too dumb to catch on fire."
-Phil, 12/03/05
"It's sicko season. KABLAM! DIE SICKO!"
-Phil, 12/03/05
"Hey...uh...do you want a big stinky pickle?"
-Brian, 01/03/06
"I've got the power of google on my side; I can be as lame as I want to!"
-Mark, 11/19/05
"Nothing says 'Sky Captain' like a one-eyed lesbian."
-Mark, 11/19/05
"General Tso's Happy Family with Human Sauce? That's just sick."
-Jeff, 11/19/05
"So last night while I was walking the dog...no, Jason, that's not a euphamism for masturbation this time."
-Matt, 11/19/05
"I live vicariously through my cute single friends."
-Jason
"Uh, Jason, did you just call me 'cute' ?"
-Matt, 11/19/05
"That's all I can think of: Cathy Bates' vagina."
-Bradley 02/09/07
"The button's over here, and you're a SINNER."
-Phil, 02/09/07
"He's actually peeing?!?"
-Galindez
"Yeah, it's not a playblast anymore."
-Mark, 01/26/07
"That's what I do to theories: poop on them."
-John, 01/03/07
"I wish all my crotch problems were that easily solved."
-Sullivan, 01/26/07
"Welcome to my religion: smack you in the jaw...um..ism."
-John, 01/26/07
"Sounds like a fat guy breathing into a telephone."
-Warren, 01/12/07
"Give it the old sniff and lick."
-Warren, 01/12/07
"I'm over here listening to Malcolm McDowell fake an orgasm, sorry if I forgot to run rsync."
-Mark, 01/19/07
"The parade ends here!"
-Phil, 01/19/07
"I've spent far too long compiling my babies."
-Phil, 01/19/07
"I want to hear more swallowing and chewing and biting."
-Marc, 01/12/07
"It seems so dead...as dead as my skin."
-Marc, 01/12/07
"Alright, it's in the potato burn folder."
-Jay, 01/12/07
"All that from a potato burn?"
-Mark, 01/12/07
"Ain't no 'bility like mobility."
-Mark, 01/11/07
"It's like voluntary communism."
-Phil, 01/11/07
"Satan is due for some muffins."
-Bradley, 01/06/07
"Shove it through the hole in her spine and she's good to go."
-Warren, 12/16/06
"He's mellowed out since his heart attack."
-Brian, 12/20/06
"Step up to the cream puff."
-Bradley, 12/20/06
"I may have hit you with a plastic sword, but you just gave me a serious paper cut."
-Mark, 12/20/06
"What a Shyamalan twist! You're dead AND retarted."
-Phil, 01/06/07
"I see retarted people!"
-Bradley, 01/06/07
"I was just trying to grab the balls."
-Candice, 7/25/07
"Mental ray - the pro-abortion renderder."
-Matt/Phil, 08/30/07
"And then I wondered,'How much is body paint?'"
-Warren, 07/06/07
"Multiple drives were trying to mount the server at the same time and well...she's just not that kind of server."
-John, 07/09/07
"You can walk up and lick him and just tell he hasn't been working here long."
-Brian, on seasoned employees, 07/09/07
"Smell this region."
-Matt, 07/12/07
"There was a walking penis in Superfriends?"
-Warren, 08/30/06
"Robots don't have feelings...yet!"
-Phil, 08/30/06
"There's hope for facial hair yet."
-Sullivan, 08/31/06
"I think you've been touching it a little too much."
-John, 09/01/06
"That is really disturbing. Don't put your hand near your face like that ever again."
-Phil, 09/01/06
"This is good 'don't do work and build Jenga instead' music."
-Phil
"I don't like droves. KTHXBYE."
-Angel, 08/28/06
"I'd like a milkshake, and by milkshake I mean unconcious child."
-Mark, ask DOLPHIN, 08/30/06
"Jiggle deformers out the wazoo!"
-Kelsey, 08/30/06
"I think the world needs another Roy or two."
-Mark, 08/30/07
"Like a feminine anemone that's regularly irregular."
-Phil, 08/21/06
"I'd rather be a godless whore than a whoreless god."
-Matt, 08/22/06
"If I were God, I'd have some bitches."
-Brian, 08/22/06
"Don't give into the farm!"
-Phil, 08/23/06
"Shit will hit the fan and everyone will cheer...Yaaaaay!"
-Mark, 08/26/06
"They call me bottle nose because I drink so much."
-Brian, 08/12/06
"You think it's funny, but in England? It's dinner."
-Mark, 8/09/06
"Am I allowed to say 'douchebag' over a company-wide e-mail?"
-Mark, 08/07/06
"...because alot of times it gets warped. By breasts."
-Mark, 08/04/06
"If there's green shit and it looks like someone threw up, then it's going to rain."
-John, 08/04/06
"I just graduated! I shouldn't have to learn anymore!"
-Candice, 07/02/07
"My size issues are of a different nature. Wait, Rooke, don't write that down. You're fired."
-Warren, 6/12/07
"Hold still - you have a weird hair coming out of your back."
-Mark, 06/13/07
"More like on the far side of close."
-Warren, 06/11/07
"Can my receeding hairline be I.D. enough?"
-Mark, 06/07/07
"Your mom rolled over at the end of the fiscal year!"
-Bradley, on your mother's fiscal policy, 06/07/07
"The Japanese don't need oxygen. They have...gills?"
-Bradley, 05/22/07
"If you're going to do the robot, do it to my face!"
-Bradley, 05/29/07
"Self-induced vomiting runs in my family."
-Mark
"Dum dum dummmm!"
-Phil, 06/04/07
"Please don't talk about me popping my filaments."
-Mark, 06/06/07
"Lima beans are bullshit...starchy little fuckers."
-Warren, 06/06/07
"We have an ectoplasm?"
-Mark, 04/28/07
"I like zeroes. You can take them off and put them back on again when you're ready."
-Mark, 04/29/07
"I'm going to have texture dropping dreams again."
-Mark, 05/15/07
"God bless the Chickpea."
-Bradley, 05/17/07
"Gave her the old gigabit switch. OH-HO!"
-John, 06/06/07
"I don't associate 'a swirling vortex of power' with milk. Or chocolate for that matter."
-Mark, 03/23/07
"I didn't order this many white people."
-John, 03/28/07
"The cankles never lie."
-Matt, 03/30/07
"I'm going to make a spoof called the Godwood festival where God has a woody."
-Warren, 04/14/07
"People don't care too much about the cheese. They just suck down the meat."
-Warren, 03/17/07
"Amy really is showing off her pooper."
-John, 03/17/07
"When I pull up in the morning I can see the giraffe on top of the mountain."
-Warren, 03/21/07
"You should check your widgets once a month...you know...so you don't have lumps."
-Brian, 03/22/07
"I'm so lonely and delicious."
-Warren, 04/10/07
"I think you know a little too much about Freddie's mouth."
-Marc, 03/15/07
"Gradma, what big forms you have."
-Mark, 03/13/07
"Ever hiccough so hard that you...[pause]...barf in your mouth?"
-Mark, 03/06/07
"Ah, George. He died as he lived: reloading."
-Mark, 03/07/07
"I can't wait until Charleton Heston goes senile. That'll be a blast."
-Mark, 02/15/07
"When you move food around that fast the nutrients just can't keep up."
-Phil, 02/15/07
"She's a dirty little battle Sedessa!"
-Warren, 02/20/07
"I hate places that give 10% discounts. Come on guys, you can do better than that."
-John, 02/21/07
"That hard drive is fun-size!"
-Mark, 02/27/07
"It's like moving from cold water to warm water...and no, I don't mean I just peed."
-Phil, 01/06/06
"You probably didn't notice the doppler effect because you were too busy killing hookers with a crowbar, unless you kill them really fast as you run by."
-Mark, 01/06/06
"Wait, my ass lights up?"
-Jason, 12/14/05
"Hot man sex? That's not funny at all."
-John, 01/02/06
mission statement
i thought it would be best to put these quotes somewhere that was easy for everyone, fathom present and past, to see. basically, these are all out of context quotes that were collected by staff. if anything appears offensive, it is purely a trick of the light. there is a big backlog, so i also thought this would be good for an easier way to update the backlog slowly.
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